Bump Watch: 36 Weeks

Size of baby: Canary Melon

Cravings: McDonalds. I could eat there everyday. I don't, but I could.

What I'm looking forward to: I've been a busy bee the past two weeks and I should be able to take it easy until Sadie makes her arrival. I'm looking forward to some relaxation!

Miss anything?: Sleep

Maternity clothes: Nothing new.

Movement: She was moving non-stop for three hours the other night. I'm a little worried that she put herself into the breech position because there was so much moving and stretching. Hopefully she was just working on her gymnastic routine.

Gender: Girl!

Happy or Moody: Happy. We're getting our last minute items taken care of and it's nice to see everything come together.

Nursery Progress

We're done with nursery! All that's left is some last minute organizing. We're still waiting for our glider to arrive. Hopefully we get the call before Sadie gets here! In the meantime I thought I'd give you a sneak peak. Once the glider is here I'll post pictures of her whole room.

One Month Left!

Yesterday was one month until our due date. I think Sadie is going to make her debut late, Reed thinks she'll be here before her due date. Only time will tell, but it's a little crazy to think that she can be here at any moment. I am beyond excited to meet her. I can't wait to see what she looks like and what color her hair is. I'm ready to start this new adventure and never look back. I have been savoring these last few moments with Reed, trying to enjoy the little things and trying to take in some memories of just the two of us.

I'm also pretty excited about no more heartburn. I've never experienced this before and to be honest,\ always thought that people who complained about it were wimps. It didn't seem like that big of a deal, but I had NO idea! It's pretty brutal. I'm ready to sleep on my back and my stomach and to not have to pee every 45 minutes and not wake up because I'm uncomfortable and then wake up 10 minutes later because I'm uncomfortable on the other side. I'm ready to have my normal walk back instead of walking like a penguin. I'm too young to groan like a 85 year old every time I move. I miss waking up and feeling refreshed instead of feeling like I haven't slept in 2 days.

But I'm not ready for this pregnancy to be over. While things have gotten pretty uncomfortable, I wouldn't trade any of it for this little blessing that's about to be born to us. I'm not ready to give up the little, well now they pack some heat, kicks and movements. It doesn't get old. I know that being a mom is going to be pretty incredible and I may change my mind, but this has been the most amazing experience, being pregnant. Nothing is going to compare to feeling her move inside of me and watching her grow through various ultrasounds. I have loved to see my belly grow and get bigger each week because that means our Sadie girl is growing and getting stronger. Even through the most difficult times I have felt so incredibly lucky. God gave us this gift and we have not taken it lightly. We wanted this so badly and now we're about to get what we've been dreaming about. We can't wait to love on this baby girl.

What is Sadie going to look like?

Bump Watch: 34 Weeks

Size of baby: Cantaloupe

Cravings: Pretty much anything and everything. I'm hungry all the time and kind of a bottomless pit.

What I'm looking forward to: We're getting closer to meeting her and I cannot wait!

Miss anything?: I feel like a 95 year old woman, something aches with every move or every step I take.

Maternity clothes: Nothing new. I probably won't be buying anything new since we're getting close to the end, unless it's a pretty wicked deal. And by pretty wicked deal, I mean free.

Movement: I had this moment one night where she was fist pumping so I put my hand on my stomach to feel her. I realized it was her little hand that I was feeling and that our hands were touching. Well, pretty much touching. There are some layers in the way, but it was pretty special to me.

Gender: Girl!

Happy or Moody: Happy. We had our maternity pictures done on Sunday and I am so excited to see how they turned out.

Baby Shower

My lovely sister Katie and lovely friend Tonya threw me an amazing baby shower. It was so much fun and they did a fantastic job.

They had a headband making station and it was pretty stinkin cute. All the guests were encouraged to make a headband and attach a tag with a message for Sadie to it. We got some really sweet messages and cute headbands. This kid is going to be a little rockstar!

I was completely overwhelmed by how generous our friends and family were. Sadie is one loved little girl and I think Reed and I are pretty loved too! :)

Reed was next door hanging out drinking with his buddies. He came over once I was done opening presents to say hi to everyone. We didn't want him to feel left out so we made him open his presents too! This basket is from me. I have been planning on doing this for years! Everything inside was Reed related from a Michael Jackson lullaby CD to a onesie that says Don't Worry My Dad Has A Beard On It. The onesie was his favorite thing and just added fuel to the fire that he needs to "always" have a beard. His friends got him some presents too, it was pretty sweet!

We have the most talented friends! I asked them to make a cake for Reed's "shower." It's a Daddy panda with a Sadie panda. Seriously, how cute is this? I may have cried when they showed it to me... If you need a cake or cupcakes check them out! They're awesome. 

The baby shower always seemed so far away and I can't believe it's already come and gone! It was such a special day and we were truly spoiled. 

Bump Watch: 33 Weeks

Size of baby: Pineapple, which sounds delicious!

Cravings: I had one heck of a craving this week. I wanted McDonalds, bread sticks and alfredo sauce from Olive Garden, a thin crust pizza from Dominos, cold stone, and a brownie. It was a little out of control.

What I'm looking forward to: We're making progress on the nursery. We started hanging stuff on the walls this weekend and I have a few crafty things left to do! Hopefully by this weekend everything will be hung and organized. We ordered our glider and it will take anywhere from 7 to 13 weeks so once that shows up everything will be complete. Her room looks better than ours! :)

Miss anything?: I think I'm entering the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy. My body is getting pretty achy and it's getting harder to sleep. I'm still enjoying being pregnant and trying to savor these last few weeks.

Maternity clothes: I bought a new tank top that I'm modeling in this picture. Ooh la la!

Movement: She's getting stronger and stronger! We may have a little boxer on our hands.

Gender: Girl power!

Happy or Moody: Happy.

Our first ultrasound

In my first post where I explained why I started a blog I mentioned getting pregnant wasn't the easiest thing for Reed and me. While our journey wasn't the easiest, it wasn't the hardest either, but it did take a toll on my heart. When you decide you are ready to bring a child into this world, you're ready then and there. You grow up hearing the warnings "it only takes once to get pregnant" so if it doesn't happen the first, third, or sixth month it begins to weigh pretty heavily on your heart. After three months of trying I began to feel like something wasn't right. I went for my yearly physical and told my doctor that we were trying to get pregnant. She said she would run some routine blood work to make sure everything was ok. One of my tests came back a little abnormal and after some additional tests and ultrasounds she said I shouldn't worry. I'm a big believer in being your own advocate when it comes to your medical care. Since my doctor is a general physician I decided to make an appointment with an OBGYN. I figured this was their speciality and when/if we got pregnant I would need one anyway. By the time I got to my appointment I had began taking my temperature everyday, using ovulation sticks, and my cycles were becoming longer and longer. This doctor explained that my original blood work did not fall in their abnormal category, but it sounded like I wasn't ovulating. That's kind of important when you're trying to get pregnant! She prescribed me progesterone. It was suppose to make my cycles more regular and after three months on it I would return to the doctor where we would start using a drug that would force me to ovulate. If by some chance I did get pregnant I would continue taking the pill through the first trimester. I still monitored to see if I ovulated. The first cycle came and went, I didn't ovulate.

During the second cycle I got my first positive ovulation test. It was crazy to think that this could be it! Two weeks later I took a pregnancy test and got a negative. It wasn't my first rodeo, but those negative tests feel like a slap in the face! Two days later I still hadn't started my period so I decided to test again. I knew I was setting myself up for failure. This time I looked down and saw two bright lines. My first reaction was "are you fucking kidding me?" (I have a bit of a potty mouth.) I couldn't believe it, I was pregnant! Nine months after we started trying, a few doctors appointments, an ultrasound, and some pills later I was pregnant.

I made my appointment and saw my doctor at 8 weeks. We both were nervous going to this appointment. I had no morning sickness and besides sore boobs, I felt great. She did an internal ultrasound and we saw our little baby, heartbeat and all! We walked out of there on cloud nine! This was it, it was finally happening! We were going to be parents and we have pictures to prove it.

When I was 10 weeks I went on a roadtrip to visit friends in Durango, CO. Reed had to work so I went with his best friend. I know that sounds a little weird, but the three of us have been on vacations before so it's not that weird for us, plus we were visiting his sister. A couple days into our trip I began to have a bad feeling. One night I woke up around 1 A.M. and knew something was wrong. This had happened before, I knew what it felt like, so I wasn't surprised to go to the bathroom to find blood. I had lost our little baby. My whole world came crashing down.

That happened a year ago today. It's crazy how things can change in a year. It took me months to work through all the feelings that came with this miscarriage. I walked four miles a day for over a month so I could work out all my thoughts and hurt. I am so thankful for the little girl who is currently fist pumping inside of me, but she doesn't replace the two babies I have lost. I look at it as one of those puzzles that have different shapes. You can't put a square in a triangle hole just like this baby doesn't fit the hole in my heart for my other babies.

I thought it was important to share this part of our story. It has been so much fun taking weekly bump pictures and writing about the nursery progress, but this is meaningful too. This has shaped who I am today and how I feel about this pregnancy. I also thought it was important because chances are you have or know someone who has had a miscarriage and it can be helpful reading other people's experiences.